Should You Give Them a Second Chance?

What in this world that doesn't change? At first I thought there should be something that does not change at all. But on a second thought, I think there is nothing in this world that doesn't change at all. Living and non living things do change whenever there is a need to change in order to adapt to their environment could it be the internal or external forces that made it change. In this note, I'd like to talk about relationship between you and your partner. It doesn't matter whether you have broken up the relationship or in the process of breaking it.

I've seen so many people changed through out the years that I've been friends with them. Changes that they show sometimes surprised me and sometimes it is predicted that they'll behave so here and there. This includes friends who have changed from good to not really good and vice versa. It depends on what your culture or religion is actually to think about good or bad because it is subjective. So it is a matter of opinion anyway. That is another important thing to keep in mind. After going through a lot of things in overseas, I can say that I myself changed in many aspects - knowledge, maturity, physical and many others.

However, it is sad to see your friends have gone over the boundaries and turned into something that you might think it's bad. It is also sad to see some people who were so called pious before diverted from the straight lines. This note is intended to speak about second chance. The question is "would you give another chance to the person who cheated you before or have been bad to you before? The answer lies in the person itself whether or not to give the second chance and lead a normal and happy life with the partner.

But here are some things to ponder about before you make your decision. How do you know s/he has changed? This question is hard to answer even for pros who had been in and out of relationships for so many times. Everything happens for some reasons. So look for signs of changes. If s/he looks different than before, maybe you could consider giving him/her a second chance. For instance, before this the person doesn't like to go to Surau or Masjid but now they often go to surau and masjid to pray together with other muslims then it is a good sign that the person have change. Oh well, maybe you'd think that the changes in the person only for a while. I warn you! Do not think like that! This may interfere with their efforts t change. Oh please, I know you Malays. Always being suspicious to anyone who are trying to be good for example. Please support them! Just don't be too suspicious to people for it's not good and it may be sinful (I guess).

Oh well, now you've seen that they have changed! What else are you waiting for? Go a head and forgive and forget! Another reason why they'd change maybe because of you. S/he might loves you so much and wants to change because of you. S/he also wants to change because s/he now realises that what s/he had been doing was wrong and forbidden. If you are the season why the person changed, then you should consider mending the relationship. If you don't you might as well make the person divert their own bad self like before. But does it really worth it to help him/her if you don't like them? I don't believe in love at the first sight so I'd say this. If you don't even like him, try to like him. You'll sooner or later find the inner beauty in him/her that you might get interested too and fall in love with it later. Give him/her a second chance and if you don't like him/her then you can ditch him if and only if he reverted! Oh well, you can always try! S/he might be more motivated when you're around him and that may speed up the changing process. :P

Okay, lets talk about cheating. I read it somewhere that there are two type of cheating that your partner could make. One time cheat or serial cheats! One time cheat makes a genuine mistake. They regret it. They hate themselves for the fact that they have cheated. They are frightened by what they have lost or nearly lost – The Person They Truly LOVE. Caught or not, they won't do it again. This is a good one actually, they've cheated before and sooner or later they found out they are about to loose someone they really love so they stop and regret doing it. So, if this is the situation in your relationship then I think you should put the past behind and look straight into the future.

I just want you to be aware of the serial cheats because it's not a good to cheat for so many times. Sooner or later they'll be caught and everything will be over before they even know it. So what do you say? Somehow I want you to know that by giving someone a second chance is like giving them a new hope for them to live their shattered life. It is like mending something that you may like for the rest of your life. However, please do not forget about God above. Seek help from him and I believe that giving a second chance to a person who really wants to change is pure in Islam or any religion. So, before I end up this note. Think about it thoroughly before any decision made and don't forget to ask for Allah's help.

The End.

Note: This is a revised version of change and second chance posted on the 22^nd of December 2008.